It was one of the earlier days. No preconceived notions and no inhibitions. We were staring over at the sea, my vision a little hazy from the beautiful high of the doob we had just smoked. That you taught me to roll. Talking about things I never have since, because nobody makes me.
Getting to know you better over a smoke and some music seemed magical and intimate. And just then, you played a song that will forever define that moment.
We all have our vices- choices of intoxication. Sobriety works only for those who fear letting go of themselves.
If you’ve ever been under the influence, you’ll know what I mean. Experiencing that moment when there’s a different world inside of you from outside. Knowing that even though your head’s spinning, its a joyride. Everything seems better- music, life, and heck, even people. Letting something take over you, even for a little while, is exciting. Just to see what your mind is really capable of. Taking a ‘lil detour once in a while sure helps break the monotony of the everyday path. As long as you know where you’re headed, that is.
A little escape from real life never hurt anybody. Although, I’m not sure if being intoxicated takes you away from reality, or closer to it.
Long after it’s over, you can still hear it. Floating sublimely in your subconscious. It touches you, transports you. Makes the mind wander. To places unknown, yet serene and dreamlike. That’s what music does to you.
There are only 2 ways known to man to travel without moving- books and music. No matter where we come from, we all understand what the tunes are trying to tell us. The stories they’re weaving. They speak the language of the heart, not the mind. Have meaning without having to say a single word.
Some of my favourite tracks are those without lyrics; I love to interpret music my own way. And the best way to do it- close your eyes and let the sound take over. Some tunes bring back memories of times gone by, some take me to those yet to be made. It allows me to imagine, beyond what my eyes have seen. Witness gorgeous sunsets over shimmering seas. If this is not bliss, I don’t know what is.
It’s never over, even after it’s long over. The reverberations exist forever.
If you have never traveled with music, you’ve never heard it.
Aren’t they? Different things though, at different points in time. Someone’s in search of peace, while someone wants chaos. And they find it too, until they set out looking for something new. So you keep walking, stumbling upon newer things, greater ambitions and deeper desires. If you can find even one of these, hold it tight. Years down the line, they’ll remind you of a wish that was almost fulfilled.
Crying faces around me
Those dead eyes
That once held love for me
Now look at me with with lost hope
It doesn’t seem like its over
My journey’s just begun
Death stands in my way now
But never forever
Just when I can’t have it anymore
I realize how much I was loved
What I always took for granted
Now kills me all over again
My kids I adored, my wife I loved,
My parents meant the world to me
But I cant undo what’s done,
Time stops for no one
Till then I look down at them
And at that moment it dawns on me
Life is beautiful, death is peaceful
It’s the transition that’s painful.
These winds have a story to tell. And the waves, the hills and the sand create the most beautiful imagery for it. They tell me about free spirits, golden mornings and the flight of the mind. So I’ve decided I’m going to tread this path till I find those for myself.
'Calm' by one of my favourite artists, Govinda- for we all need it.
"You’ve already killed me. It’s only fair that I get to kill you now."
And with a deafening scream, she pulled the trigger. Those were the last words he ever heard.
They were happily married. At least they thought they were, or would be. Who doesn’t? But their story was no different. Filled with emptiness and despair, their lives were no longer on the same page. Growing apart every single day, they had become one of those couples that waited for the magic to reappear someday. To feel the same way they felt when they were madly in love. But they never did.
Her screams and cries for help fell on deaf ears, night after night. Her ‘Prince Charming’ no longer swept her off her feet, except when he flung her across the room. Occasionally. The routine was almost always the same- brutally beating her up while entering her, and while he went in and out, she fell in and out of consciousness. She never understood why he punished her like this. Or did he think she enjoyed it?
Day after day, his fetish grew. On some days it would be a whip, while on some his fist was enough. She thought she married a man to whom she would bare her soul. Apparently, bare skin he enjoyed more.
Kids were out of the question, he wouldn’t hear of it. Unnecessary obstacles, he would call them. But he enjoyed the company of his friends. Especially when they cheered on as they watched him at his sport. His ego would touch the roof; he was the tough guy, after all. “This is how you tame ‘em” he’d say.
She prayed and she prayed, to the God she was taught to believe in. But he seemed pretty busy. Her faith was now bleak, and so were her chances of escape. Where would she go, anyway? She had left everyone, everything for this man. She had nothing except him and what came along with him.
It had to end. Had to. There were times she couldn’t walk for days. The pain left her numb, lifeless. Of course, that didn’t stop him. He couldn’t change his daily schedule for some silly little pain now, could he? Beer, beef and some good ol’ beating. Sometimes beating off, if her bruises and tears weren’t turning on enough. Perfect.
She stumbled upon it by accident one day. It was in his sock drawer, shining black. She didn’t know how to use it at first. But hey, she knew how to use Google. Seemed like she had found her God. One that actually had all the answers.
She knew she had to do it. It was either him or her. She had suffered enough. The decision was made. He walked in already drunk that night, hungry to ‘make love’. Before he could enter the room, she walked out, not scared for the first time in ten years. A little nervous maybe, but then who wouldn’t be, if they had a fully loaded gun in their hands?
She smiled at him seductively, luring him. And lured he was. She leaned in to embrace him, whispering in his ear. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she pulled the trigger.
For the first time, it was he who fell to the ground. Falling in darkness that felt like liquid night, he finally got the climax he’d been lusting for.
Moulds are for those that conform, fit in
What I need are seamless streams
So I can grow, move, envision
Smooth tomorrows that ask for no pauses
Descriptions never described anything
The essence of it all can only be consumed, experienced
So let not time travel with you
Ageless journeys have no purpose, just bliss
Where did you come from? Where are you heading?
These are questions not to be answered, need not be answered
For an answer found is an experience lost.
Move ahead- beyond mind, beyond body, beyond time
Your journey has just a soul; not a name
So flow, with time, with mind, with the beasts within the mind
For in the end, what flows with you is not your identity
What’s left of you is that.